Thursday, September 24, 2009


From the back of my Patak's Original microwave lunch package:

(1) Puncture plastic film in several spots on top of the bowl.
(2) Place bowl in microwave. Heat on HIGH for 1 1/2 minutes.
(3) Let stand for 1 minute.
(4) Carefully remove film by pealing it back around bowl. Stir, serve and enjoy!

Or else? What if I don't enjoy? Am I then guilty of not following the directions? And if I don't follow the preperation directions, have I then forfeited my right to be dissatisfied with the product? I mean, I can't really complain about a product's performance if I don't use it properly, right?

I ask this because, even though I haven't even peeled the cardboard packaging off yet, I think I can safely say that I won't "enjoy" it that much. I may get full, but enjoy? That's a tough bill to fill for a tv dinner style lunch. So it's likely that I won't be able to complete the instructions. And I hate forfeiting rights.

The problem is making my head spin.

The solution? Well, the only safe solution in this case would seem to be avoidance. No more Patak's Original for me.

And the worst of that is that I haven't even tasted the stuff yet so I don't know whether to be sad about the prospect of never getting intimate with Patak again.

Crazy. Completely crazy...


KanyonKris said...

Have a third party (wife, friend, co-worker) use a magic marker to cover the words "server and enjoy".

Scott said...

So, was it enjoyable, or were you predisposed to not enjoy it based on the command to enjoy it?

kg said...

Ha! Reminds me of Brian Regan and his "Pop Tart Directions" clip. I want the job to write those directions.